STD Testing - The Comprehensive Way

This site is primarily focused on "Consent to Kiss", but in cases where that kiss leads towards sex, we want you to be responsible and have a safe sex talk. We also want to encourage you to test yourself for STDs regularly, and know exactly how to get a comprehensive test, because not all STD testing visit are equal.

Not all STD Tests are Equal

If you are sexually active and non-exclusive (which is becoming the default dating mode throughout most of the western world), you should be getting frequent STD tests.

Unfortunately, in the United States at least, when you ask your doctor or health provider for an STD test (on your insurance), many are programmed to save money by signing you up to the basic package where they might only test for a couple of STDs, and omit all the rest which can be tested for. Kaiser Permanente, for instance, is known for being stingy on this, but so are most health providers - some even come across as judgmental. Most Americans don't get tested enough, and even the ones that do are often getting shortchanged on tests... so it is little wonder STDs are rife and 50% of Americans catch their first STD before age 25. Don't be shortchanged. Know your options. We wrote this guide with the help of friends, to help you get your doctor to test you more thoroughly!

Asking your Doctor for the Full Package

Lots of modern doctors allow you to send emails, and maybe you find talking about STD tests a little awkward to begin with (heaven forbid your doctor asks about your sex life), so just copy and paste this into an email.... Or print if necessary.

With this letter you should get full permission to come into the lab for the full package whenever you want. Which means on dates you'll always be able to impress your potential lovers with a recent test.

A few things to note:

1. Note the words "at call" mean that you should be permitted to come into the lab anytime. This is fantastic, because if you have to email or even visit your doctor to ask for STD tests every few months... well that's just annoying!

2. Where we say "anal not necessary"... if you are a receiver of anal sex (gay men and many women), you should replace the word "not" with "also".

3. Down the bottom you might want to list immunity/vaccinations as something you can skip. In the US, younger people (born after 2000) are usually HPV vaccinated.. older than that and your doctors basically assume you already have it (yes, it's that common). Fortunately the body usually clears it in a few years, and only in rare cases does it turn into cancer. read about HPV.

4. Your doctor may talk you out of HSV-1. Why? There are two kinds of herpes virus: HSV-1, which is usually not an STD and occurs on the lip (cold-sores), and HSV-2, which usually causes genital herpes (1 in 5 Americans), which is essentially an STD in the genital area. Both viruses can be transmitted by saliva, body secretions or oral sex. HSV-1 "the kissing disease", is very common and you've maybe seen someone with cold sores on their lips, but the fact is 50% of Americans have HSV-1 and most won't have symptoms, so they can spread it, but they have no idea they have it. If you kiss people, you can assume you probably have it - it's so frequent doctors often suggest the test isn't necessary. It's up to you, but the more sexually awakened camp like to know this and educate others. read more about HSV.

5. Keep in mind the above list doesn't include all STDs, not even close. You can find a more completely list of STDs on beforeplay.org or Wikipedia - the thing is not all STDs can be readily tested for, and some are rare, so you have to be reasonable to get tested for all the "main types" of STDs and if you do have a good doctor you can have a good conversation about this. If you doctor is at all judgmental (versus constructive)... and some are... just change doctors and leave them feedback.

How Frequently Should You Be Tested

We live in a world of online dating and we're finally breaking the barriers of shame around being sexually active. COVID-19 slowed things down for a white, but people are still dating, and (hopefully) still having good sex.

If you are non-exclusive and actively dating then every 4 months is pretty good. With new partners you should always have a Safe Sex conversation which includes the date of your last test and whether you've had any unprotected sex since that test. Also, know that condoms fall off or break way more often than you think, so it's good to have high integrity about this also. For this reason, every 4 months keeps you in good standing - it shows you are a responsible adult. If you date less, then you might only do every 6 months, but even people who are exclusive should know that lots of STDs surface later (it can take weeks to show up)... and not every partner is completely faithful (sadly), so doing it once a year can be great peace of mind. Condoms or not, STDs can spread and show up later. With most decent medical insurance, STD tests cost nothing, so why not just schedule a test right now - and get tested the comprehensive way!